


Drowning Out Thoughts of You

by geeelatinnn



Category: SixTONES (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Second Chances, drunk, fiascos, idk what to put on tags help me, past kyomohoku, random fic decisions, song prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27569887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geeelatinnn/pseuds/geeelatinnn
Summary: Does everyone get to have a second chance?What would you do when he's happy with someone else?Will you keep holding on to something that hurts?How much pain are you willing to endure for the sake of love?
Relationships: Kyomoto Taiga/Matsumura Hokuto, Kyomoto Taiga/Tanaka Juri, Matsumura Hokuto/Terasaka Hiroki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	Drowning Out Thoughts of You

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to another fiasco! This sprung up from conversations with Ate Zaq one fateful afternoon and also I used a song Prompt for this [Inside a mind of a Killer by Urbandub](https://youtu.be/LmMR2oyMNMI) because apart from I really like the drama of that song I feel like it sort of fits. This is another stray bullet, I just had one person read it before releasing it and I was told it sort of has the same vibes as my soc med AU and I totally agree with that.
> 
> I hope you enjoy what comes ahead!

“Taiga!” Juri caught him just in time before he fell from the bar stool. “What the fuck? How much did you drink?”

“Apparently not enough to forget.” Taiga struggled to get up, with his alcohol intoxicated body making his legs feel weak. Not to mention their long day rehearsal today. “Bartender!”

“No, we’re good here. Thank you.” Juri waved the bartender off and put Taiga’s coat around him. “That’s enough, Taiga.”

Taiga scoffed. “What are you? My boyfriend or something? Bartender!”

“I said enough, Taiga.” Juri pulled down Taiga’s hand and gripped on his wrist a little tighter than necessary. “Don’t do this to yourself.” He signaled the bartender to give him tonight’s tab and paid everything from Taiga’s wallet. “Let’s go, Taiga.”

“Juri, you’re hurting me. Let go.”

_ Yeah, well you hurt me everytime you do this but you never hear me complain, Taiga.  _ Juri didn’t loosen his grip, he wasn’t about to fall for Taiga’s game again. This has happened before but still Taiga never learned his lesson that he can never outrun Juri.

Juri opened the passenger’s door for Taiga, assisting him to sit down and even placing the seatbelt over him.

“Let’s get you home, Taiga.”

“Home?” Taiga scoffed, spite evident in his reaction. “What’s the point when no one’s even there to wait for me anymore?” Taiga leaned his head on the backrest of the seat and closed his eyes.

Juri stuck their foreheads together and he closed his eyes. “Don’t do this to yourself, Taiga. Please.” Juri’s voice broke towards the last word. He couldn’t stand seeing Taiga like this but he can’t do anything about it, it wasn’t like he could magically stop all of Taiga’s emotions. But for now, as long as he can, he’d always always stay by Taiga’s side. He doesn’t care that Taiga still doesn’t look at him as more than just a friend, it was enough for him that Taiga would always have someone he could count on, that Taiga was never left alone.

“Take me to your apartment instead.”

“If it’s what you want. “ Juri pulled the blanket he had in the back seat and put it over Taiga. It was something he always brought with him as he knew how easily Taiga gets cold and the many nights that he picked him up from different bars after he found out that Taiga was drinking alone has him prepared for anything at all that Taiga would look for.

* * *

“Hokuto.” Hiroki shuffled in the bed as he felt it shift a little from Hokuto’s weight. He immediately wrapped his arm around Hokuto and buried his face in the crook of his neck, taking in Hokuto’s scent and warmth.

“Did I wake you?” Hokuto kissed the top of his head. “Filming ran a little late and I couldn’t say no to a few drinks with the cast and crew.”

“Hmmm.” Hiroki hummed. “But you don’t smell of alcohol?”

“I didn’t drink and I showered before getting to bed. I know how you get when I lay down on the bed without showering after being outside.”

Hiroki chuckled weakly, his sleepiness apparent in both his chuckle and the way he spoke. “Have you had dinner though?” Hiroki couldn’t stop his yawn anymore.

Hokuto played with Hiroki’s hair as he stared up the ceiling. “We can talk more tomorrow. For tonight, get some sleep.”

“But I haven’t heard your voice in person for days. Tomorrow I have a photoshoot and you have rehearsals again ‒ ”

Hokuto leaned down to kiss Hiroki’s lips so he would stop talking. “Go to sleep. We’ll talk over breakfast, before work, I’ll even drive you to your location. Just please sleep now.”

Hiroki gave Hokuto a chaste kiss before snuggling closer to him. “Breakfast sounds nice.”

* * *

Hiroki woke up and Hokuto was no longer in bed, the bedroom door was slightly ajar and the scent of coffee being brewed was so strong a faint scent of it reached the bedroom. Instead of Hokuto in his hand, it was now a rose.

“Typical.” Hiroki chuckled to himself, stretching out his arms and legs before getting up from the bed. He took the rose with him and placed it on the lone vase in the middle of his kitchen table. “Ho~ ku~ to~” He said in a sing-song voice. Wrapping an arm around Hokuto and resting his head on his shoulder.

“Good morning, Hiroki.” Hokuto rubbed their heads together as his hand was still full while holding the frying pan and the spatula. “It’ll be done in a while. Coffee’s brewed already and I have a cup made to your liking on the table.”

“You’re the best!” Hiroki pecks at his cheek before taking a seat on the kitchen table.

The two of them talked over breakfast about what happened in the past two weeks they didn’t get to see each other. They pretty much knew these already from their daily messaging and occasional phone calls but it felt so much different actually catching up in person. They took turns taking a bath, Hokuto already had some clothes in the closet anyway as Hiroki insisted they needed to have those because Hokuto loved dropping by unplanned and Hiroki wanted as much time as Hokuto could spare for the two of them without having to worry about a change of clothes for work the next day. They sat lazily in the sofa, Hiroki hugging Hokuto as he read his script, wanting to keep him in his arms a little while longer as Hokuto’s schedule was pretty much still packed for the next couple of days this might be the only time they could get to spend with each other.

“We have to go. I still need to drop you off to your work.” Hokuto said as he closed up his script, he wanted to ruffle Hiroki’s hair but Hiroki spent a great deal of time fixing it after his bath he didn’t want to ruin it.

“Already?” Hiroki pouted as he looked at his watch, dejected that they really were running out of time.

Hokuto kissed Hiroki’s pout away, their lips moving together with a faint taste of minty toothpaste. He also really didn’t want to go yet as much as Hiroki but he knew if he said that they’ll both end up being late for their respective work and he curses himself for a while for always being so responsible about things. He felt Hiroki slowly moving his hands under the hem of his sweater and Hokuto took his hands in his before pulling away from the kiss. 

“Not right now, Hiroki.” Hokuto pinched his cheeks. “We both get off work almost at the same time so maybe later I’ll come over and make dinner for us?”

“Really?” Hiroki’s pout was now replaced by an excited smile. His eyes brightened up at the thought of spending another night with Hokuto.

“Yes. So we have to go now so we could stick to our schedule.”

* * *

Taiga massaged his temples as he slowly sat up on the bed, Juri’s black sheets slipping off of his body as he straightened up. There was a glass of water and some hangover medicine tablets on the nightstand, Taiga got up from the bed without taking the pills, one hand still cradling his head as he walked.

“You didn’t take the pills, did you?” Juri said as Taiga walked inside the kitchen. “Here, drink this instead.” he placed down a smoothie in front of Taiga, beside it was a bowl of udon noodle soup. “Eat your breakfast too. Get something to warm up your stomach first.”

“You always know how to handle my hangover.” Taiga said as he sipped some soup, making him feel warm all over. “Did I… did I do anything bad last night?”

Juri chuckled. “Apart from blowing up your tab, no. But you have got to stop this, Taiga. Is it even working?”

Taiga shook his head, embarrassed to be even talking about it. He just overheard a phone call between Hokuto and Hiroki and it already sent him down the road of wanting to drown out his thoughts with alcohol. Because the way Hokuto heartily laughed at what Hiroki said over the phone, how Hokuto smiled just by talking with Hiroki over the phone, and how Hokuto was really trying to make time for Hiroki despite his busy schedule was everything that Taiga missed about him. He missed being the cause of Hokuto’s smiles and laughter. He missed being the one showered with affection and attention. All his thoughts, all his regrets, and just everything made him want to disappear for a while. He knew he was the one who messed up, he knew and yet here he was, the one that still isn’t able to move on. The one that was still hurting.

“Taiga.” Juri called out to him, voice laced with concern and eyes focused on him. “If it’s too much for you to still be staying at your apartment that you used to share with Hokuto, you could move here for a while until you figure things out.

“I knew it. I said something last night, didn’t I?” Taiga let out a heavy sigh. He didn’t want to move out of that place no matter how much it hurt when he remembers all the memories he had there with Hokuto. He didn’t want to leave the place that felt like his last connection with Hokuto. He felt like giving up the apartment meant he was giving up on him and Hokuto patching things up. He couldn’t admit it to anyone, not even Juri who he knew loved him on a much deeper level than just a friend. He couldn’t admit that he still stayed in that apartment two years after he and Hokuto broke up because he still hoped Hokuto would come back, that Hokuto would come home.

“He is not coming back, Taiga.” Juri said what he knew would hurt Taiga the most but he knew someone had to say it to him eventually for him to realize the fact that Hokuto wasn’t coming back, not after two years, not after being happy with Hiroki.

“I’ll just take a bath first, okay? If we don’t get a move on we’ll be late for work.” Taiga got up from his seat. He didn’t want to talk about it, not this early in the morning. Not on a day that their schedule was packed with things they had to do as a group. 

Thankfully Juri didn’t push the subject any further. They didn’t even talk about it on the ride to their work. They had a comfortable silence between them, it was always like that with them: Juri never pushing a subject Taiga doesn’t want to talk about but always willing to listen to whatever Taiga would want to talk about.

As they walked in the dressing room the laughter of the other four members surrounded the room. Jesse was doing random monomanes again, practicing them just in case he had to whip them out during any of their guest appearances or maybe do some for their Youtube videos. Taiga’s eyes immediately fall on Hokuto, etching Hokuto’s reactions to his memory. As usual, he and Hokuto interacted less with each other than they do with the other members. It has never affected their work, even after the break-up, but what nobody noticed was how heavy all this really was to Taiga.

It may not be nobody, Juri knew to some extent how much this break-up has affected Taiga. Juri was always there, showing up at places where Taiga was. Sometimes, Juri showed up even when Taiga didn’t tell him where he was. Juri has been so caring and understanding towards him through all of these things that he did and Taiga knew why. There were times when he thought he might be taking advantage of Juri but still, the two of them couldn’t let each other go. Even at times that he tried to push Juri away, Juri just took another step closer to him.

“Okinawa?! On such short notice?”

Taiga heard a familiar voice by the fire exit as he was walking up and down the stairs while organizing his thoughts. He stopped in his tracks to not make any unnecessary sound.

“I was really looking forward to dinner.” Hokuto sounded disappointed. “But you need to do it for your job so we can just reschedule.” When he looked up he could see someone’s elbow poking by the stair handrail. “Yes, I’m off work tomorrow.”

Taiga was playing with his phone to distract himself, trying his hardest not to make any sudden noise or movement that would make Hokuto notice him. Unfortunately for him, his phone vibrated when he lost the round and it startled him enough to drop it. He was about to pick it up when another hand beat him to it. He’d recognize that hand anywhere, he knew the features of it as if it was his own. Taiga gulped some air before standing up.

“Thanks.” Taiga said as Hokuto handed him his phone.

“You shouldn’t be eavesdropping on people.” Hokuto said with a straight voice and Taiga couldn’t look him in the eye.

“I wasn’t, I was just ‒ ”

“Whatever you say, Taiga.” Hokuto walked away without saying another word.

Taiga was used to Hokuto being neutral to him and avoiding interactions with him but he wasn’t used to Hokuto acting this cold to him. Hokuto being cold to him felt like the final nail to the coffin of their relationship.

* * *

Hokuto was starting his second film for the night when his doorbell suddenly rang. He paused the film before heading to his doorway. He checked on the peephole first who it was and sighed heavily at the sight but still he opened his door.

“Taiga, what are you doing here at this hour?”

Taiga smiled giddy and hiccuped. “You opened the door.”

“Geez how much did you drink? You reek of alcohol.”

“I was trying to ‒ rid myself of thoughts of you.” Taiga pointed his shaking finger at Hokuto and smiled. “Guess that was a failure as I ended up here.” He lost his balance and thankfully Hokuto caught him.

“God, Taiga.” Hokuto straightened Taiga up, holding him by his hip to keep him balanced and closed the door. He half carried Taiga to his couch, settling the older down on the couch before heading to his kitchen to get a glass of water. “Here, drink this.” Hokuto settled the glass on the center table.

“Hokuto.” Taiga grabbed Hokuto’s wrist with both his hands, gripping on Hokuto as hard as he could. He rested his forehead on Hokuto’s arm. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything. Can’t you just ‒” Taiga sobbed, tears running down his eyes onto Hokuto’s arm. “Can’t you give me one more chance to make things right?”

“You’ve already broken my heart once. What makes me assured you won’t do it again?” Hokuto crouched down, holding Taiga’s face in his hand so they’d be looking at each other. “I let all my guards down for you.”

“I’ve learned my lesson, Hokuto. I know now how important you are to me, how important us means to me.” Taiga’s voice was shaking, more from nervousness than the alcohol he consumed. “I just really want to beg you to come back, to choose me. Seeing you with someone else when I was still lost at what I needed to do when all you wanted to say was goodbye.”

“Taiga, I’m not a thing or a toy that you lost and now that someone else has it you want it back.” Hokuto stuck their foreheads together. “Say it if you mean it, Taiga. If you don’t ‒” 

Hokuto couldn’t even finish what he wanted to say when Taiga fell on his shoulder, exhausted from both alcohol intake and crying. He laid Taiga down properly on the couch and draped a blanket over him as he knew how easily the older one got cold. He caressed Taiga’s face, remembering all the times they spent together. Remembering Taiga’s bright and radiant eyes and smiles. But remembering their past memories also brought with it all the hurt, pain, and fights they had.

Hokuto debated within himself if he should just let Taiga stay the night as he watched Taiga sleeping on his couch. It was not like they were going to sleep on the same bed but still, it felt like he was doing something bad to Hiroki if he let Taiga stay the night. Especially since he knew Taiga was still holding on to a tiny bit of hope that they still had a chance.

Hokuto dialed Juri’s number and Juri picked up on the second ring.

“Juri. Taiga’s here and he’s drunk. He’s asleep on my couch.”

“I’ll come pick him up.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for taking time to read this!
> 
> If you want to talk or yell to me about this feel free to drop by:  
> twitter [@geeelatinnn](https://twitter.com/geeelatinnn)  
> curious cat [@geeelatinnn](https://curiouscat.qa/geeelatinnn)  
> or you can leave a comment down below


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